More than a Buddy Seat – Turning Harvest Rides into Meaningful Conversations

By: David Marrison, OSU Extension Field Specialist – Farm Management

OSU Extension has a long history of helping farm families with transition and estate planning. While most would agree this kind of planning is vital for the future success of the farm, it often gets delayed or doesn’t happen at all, for a variety of reasons.

So why the delay?

• Families often cite reasons such as:  
• Not enough hours in the day to get everything done.
• Not comfortable talking about death.
• Don’t know how to develop a plan.
• Don’t understand all the legal jargon.
• Legal and tax professionals are too expensive.
• We don’t agree on what to do.
• It might cause family conflict.
• Our family communication about sensitive topics is poor.

So, what would be on your list? For most, the top two reasons are the lack of time and a history of poor communication around difficult topics. So, how can we overcome these obstacles? Maybe one strategy this fall is to use the buddy seat to our advantage.

Buddy Seat

A buddy seat, sometimes called a passenger or instructional seat, is an extra seat inside the cab of farm equipment like a combine or tractor. It is there so someone else (like a child, grandchild, trainee, or helper) can ride along safely with the operator. It is a great way to teach someone the ropes or spend some quality time together during long hours in the field.

I recently read an article by Raney Rapp called “The Buddy Seat Barometer” which explores how the buddy seat has become an informal rite of passage in farm dating. Rapp explained that a few minutes or hours in a buddy seat can show you a lot. You will see the good, how someone handles stress, and how the family works together. Rapp remarked that the buddy seat is a good barometer to see if this life and person might be the right fit.

So, beyond the dating world, could the buddy seat be used to create deeper connections? What if we used the buddy seats in our combines, trucks, and tractors as places to have more intentional conversations?

Levels of Conversations

First, let’s look at the level of conversations we typically have. In his book "Why Am I Afraid to Tell Your Who I Am?” John Powell outlines five levels of communication (See Table 1). Most of us tend to stay at levels five and four, the safer levels of cliché or factual conversations. These conversations are safe and polite with little emotional risk.

As conversations progress to levels three and two, conversations become more personal as we begin to share what we think or feel. Peak communication or level one communication is rare and precious. It occurs when people feel safe enough to be deeply honest and to share fully. It requires trust, respect, and love.

So, where would you rank your communication with family members and your farm team?

Table 1: Levels of Communication

From “Why Am I Afraid to Tell Your Who I Am?” – John Powell

Elevating Your Buddy Seat Conversations

Of course, the top priority during harvest is to get the crop harvested and to do it safely. However, buddy seat conversations can offer opportunities for deeper, more intentional communication.

One strategy is for both the driver and the buddy to be more intentional in the questions they ask. During our “Planning for the Future of our Farm” workshops, we encourage families to plan their farm’s future through questions as a discussion guide. Here are some ideas for questions to get conversations going this fall.

The Legacy of the Farm

The buddy seat is a great place to reflect on the history of the farm. These reflections can build understanding and appreciation for the sacrifices which got the farm to where it is today. Some questions that can help family members examine farm legacy could include:

• How did the farm get started and who were the first family members involved?
• What are you most proud of when you think about our farm’s history?
• What values or principles have guided the way you have operated the farm?
• How did the farm shape the way our family grew up and lived?
• What were some of the biggest challenges you faced over the years, and how did you overcome them?
• What have been the hardest weather events or years? Can you tell me about the blizzard of 1978?
• Who have been your best mentors in farming and what did they teach you?
• How have farming practices changed since you started and which changes were hardest to adapt to?
• Were there times you considered walking away from farming? What made you stay?
• What advice would you give the next generation of farmers in our family?
• What do you hope the next generation understands or carries forward?

Our Farm’s Future

Most farm families hope to see the operation successfully pass to the next generation. The buddy seat can be a great space for generations to talk about the future. These conversations can be vital as the family develops its transition plan.

• What are your vision and goals for the farm in the next 10, 20, or 50 years?
• What parts of the farm operation are you most passionate about? What would you change or grow?
• Are there new technologies, crops, or practices you are interested in exploring?
• What kind of support or guidance would help you take on more responsibility?
• What traditions or values are most important for you to continue?
• What concerns or worries do you have about taking over the farm?
• In what areas would you like more training?
• What do you want your kids or nieces/nephews to understand about the farm?
• How do you see personal and family life fitting in with the future of the farm?
• What will success look like to you as the future leader of this operation?

Family Relationships

Farming is more than land, crops, and livestock. It is deeply tied to family. Honest conversations among siblings, spouses, and generations are crucial to avoid conflict and to build trust. Buddy seat conversations can also be a natural space to check in.

• What are three things you are grateful for?
• What’s something I say or do that makes you feel appreciated?
• What’s your role on the farm and do you feel it’s recognized?
• What has been your happiest day on the farm?
• How do you prefer to communicate when something’s wrong or frustrating?
• Are there ways we could better divide responsibilities to avoid stress?
• Do you feel heard and respected in farm decisions?
• How would you prefer to handle conflict when it comes up?
• How can we better balance work and family life, especially during busy seasons?
• How do you see us as siblings, spouses, or family involved in the farm’s future?
• What is on your bucket list?

Our Farm as a Workplace

Conversations with employees can also help create a healthy, respectful, and productive work culture. When employers ask for honest feedback, it improves morale, retention, and day-to-day operations. Here are a few questions to ask employees this fall:

• What do you enjoy most about working here?
• What do you see as our farm’s strengths?
• What is one change that could make the farm more efficient?
• Are there any safety concerns we should address?
• Is communication clear about your tasks or expectations? How could we improve?
• Are there any tools, equipment, or systems that you think could help us work more efficiently?
• What kind of support, such as training, equipment, or scheduling would help you succeed?
• What would make this job more satisfying or sustainable long-term?
• Is there anything you would like to learn or grow into here?
• What task or tasks do you enjoy the least on the farm?
• As an employee, are there any additional benefits that you would like us to consider?

Put The Buddy Seat to Work This Fall

As we settle into another harvest season, the buddy seat gives us more than just a place to ride. It offers a chance to connect, reflect, and look ahead. Whether you are talking about the farm’s legacy, its future, or just checking in on one another, buddy seat conversations matter. So, this fall, let’s turn our buddy seats into spaces of meaningful dialogue. Because the best place to start planning for the future of the farm... is one honest conversation at a time.

References

Powell, John. Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan. ISBN: 000-628105-2

Raney Rapp, “The Buddy Seat Barometer” (September, 2025). Farm Progress. Accessible at: https://www.farmprogress.com/commentary/the-buddy-seat-barometer

OSU Farm Office Resources. Planning for the Future of the Farm. Resources accessible at: https://farmoffice.osu.edu/farm-transition

The author would like to thank OSU Extension colleagues and AI-assisted drafting tools for helping refine the ideas presented in this article.